Forensic Jokes, Puns & Tidbits
Forensic Poems
The Toxic Avenger
From the grave, if lips could speak
the person who was, pleads – you must seek
the individual who had my trust,
and thru deceit and cunning into the grave did thrust
this body once alive and well,
now silenced by death, who can not tell
my death was NOT what all thought then,
for a poison brought my life to end!
Avenge me now, for you alone
can find the truth beneath the stone.
Look close and the clues you will see
that tell the tale of what killed me.
For you must tell all others now,
That this was MURDER – and tell them how!
For if no one looks to find what’s here,
An injustice was done to a life so dear.
If now only you could hear,
My muted pleadings to make wants clear.
I’d speak as plain as it could be.
Since I can’t – You must AVENGE ME!
-Anonymous. From a promotional leaflet on the book “Criminal Poisoning” by John Harris Trestrail, III (Acknowledgement: This leaflet was sent to me by John Harris Trestrail, III of the Regional Poison Center, Grand Rapids, MI)
Milton Helpern (1902-1977)
What kind of man is he we
honor here,
A doctor who has served his
science well?
Why, yes, of course, but most
of us could tell
Of science or profession served.
A peer
Without a peer in his own field
and sphere?
Why, yes, that too, but more than
this, his spell
Is cast by greatness of the mind.
We dwell
On inner strengths of character
so dear
To all who know him, radiance
that springs
From hidden depths of manliness
and truth.
These are the constant hallmarks
of the soul
That draw us to the man, these
are the things
Of which we offer now as
humble proof
The heartfelt testimony of
this scroll
-Anonymous. From the book “Autopsy – The Memoirs of Milton Helpern, the World’s Greatest Medical Detective” by Milton Helpern, M.D. with Bernard Knight, M.D. (Acknowledgement: This book was kindly lent to me by Dr. R.K. Sharma of the DDU Hospital)